Let’s get one thing straight:  burlesque is all about sex.  It’s the thing that distinguishes it from other performing arts.  While other artistic mediums may communicate using sexiness as an accent, with burlesque, sex is the language itself.  Even if that sexuality is being expressed ever so subtly, burlesque is all about the adult version of fun, where sex is a natural, normal, and often a very provocative thing.  I think this is a big reason so many women initially get involved with burlesque, to learn to feel more comfortable with that side of themselves and stop seeing it as “wrong.”  In a society that still generally makes women choose between being publically naked and sexy in a strip club, but limiting her power to that arena, or being publically demure and therefore respected but sexually powerless, there is a deep desire in women to merge these two options:  to be overtly sexual and powerful and still respected, maybe even revered.  In the same vein, men wouldn’t frequent strip clubs, raptly looking up at these women on stage, if there weren’t a similar desire in them to freely admit how powerful the female form is.  The problem is the strip club setup still pushes men to assert their dominance by making the women effectively “beg” for dollar bills.  What ensues is a power struggle to see who can make the other do or give more and who has the last word.   This all points to a desire on our parts, both men and women, to resurrect the divine feminine, to recreate a time when women’s bodies and sexuality were a source of devotion and were seen as pure and healing, rather than simply dirty and tempting.  I sincerely believe that burlesque is a step in this direction and helps bridge the desires of women to feel empowered in their sexuality with the desires of men to freely gaze upon, and maybe even adore, beautiful and sexy women. 

Often the desire in women to perform in burlesque is a need to heal body issues and quite literally feel more comfortable in their skin.  The constant exposure to the projection of feminine perfection, which for most women is highly unrealistic, tends to make them feel very bad about themselves, their bodies, and their sexiness.  Add to this the fact that most men do not actually want the “projected feminine perfection” but rather the beautiful woman who is their girlfriend or wife, and things get even more confusing.  To top it all off, women are told that men want them to look like that girl, but then hear them call her a slut or a whore, and it makes it very confusing as to just what they want women to do.  Everyone is repeating and doing what they think they are supposed to rather than what they really feel.  With burlesque, women have the option of showing how they really feel about themselves, sexiness and all.  Stripping burlesque-style isn’t about trying to get as many ones as you can from the guy salivating at your feet.  Instead, burlesque is all about channeling sex in a way that is unique to you and you alone, feeling so completely and utterly sexy in the moment that the beauty of it all radiates out and touches your entire audience.  In other words, the focus is all about how you feel and letting that shine with pride and not about how much money you can make.     

One big question people usually have about burlesque is what makes it different from stripping, i.e. strip club stripping?  Other than the fact that a burlesque performer wouldn’t strip down past pasties and a G-string (unless a mishap occurred), the main difference is this:  a stripper in a strip club is probably trying to be the audience’s (i.e. men’s) version of sexy, because that is her job, to make the men believe this is all just for them, whereas a burlesque performer is displaying her version of sexy, whatever it may be, and the audience can either take it or leave it.  Of course sometimes the art of burlesque is to convince the audience something is sexy that they might not have expected.  This is the burlesque performer’s job.  Revealing this authentic sexuality, as opposed to just putting on the costume of sexiness, is that much more terrifying and vulnerable, but the rewards are equally greater.  When you have truly revealed yourself, flaws and all, with a sense of pride to a roomful of strangers, what else is there to be afraid of?  When this act of bravery is rewarded with uproarious applause, what better reward?  Often people who openly display their nudity and/or sexuality to the public are deemed pathetic and promiscuous, but in my humble opinion, I believe it is an incredible act of courage, especially in a medium like burlesque, where that expression is authentic.  Doing this for any extended period of time only increases the confidence and ease with which a woman expresses herself as well as the degree of genuine love and appreciation she feels for herself and her body, no matter what state it is in.

Getting to the point of first revealing this most intimate of sides to the audience, even if it is just an audience of one, is another matter however.  Speaking from personal experience and observation, so many women seem to come to burlesque to heal old sexual wounds and feel empowered in their sexuality, not necessarily in a way that dominates or subjugates another, but rather in a way that is completely devoid of guilt and shame.  While performing itself can be and generally is its own therapy, it’s a good idea for anyone who wants to literally reveal herself in front of others to exorcise some of those demons before she first steps on stage.  This is where my good friend belly dance comes into play.  Because it focuses directly on the pelvis and the belly, it naturally churns up any energy residing there and helps it to circulate to the areas your body may have been cutting off.  If there’s no fire left in your belly, belly dance will get it started again.  If your sexual fire is raging out of control (and you’re quite literally feeling the consequences ; ) ), belly dance will help to get it under control so that it becomes a nice warm fire as opposed to a raging inferno.  Plus the moves practiced in belly dance are very similar to those that strippers use (only maybe a little more refined and controlled), because the movements are innately feminine in their curviness.  Belly dance takes these circular movements, shimmies, and undulations and creates an art form evocative of the Goddess herself.  It is the perfect dance form to get you in touch with your truest sexuality and allow it to express itself naturally rather than artificially.  Once these feminine moves have become ingrained in your body, grinding away all of the blockages that held your body hostage and only allowed it to move in constrained and restricted ways, you can then let them flow out of you in whatever style suits you best, whether that’s a demure and lyrical belly dance or an all out, in your face striptease. 

Since the general goal behind burlesque is to take your clothes off (although even I don’t always feel like or end up doing that), I’ll be posting a four-part series throughout the month of December on creating your very own striptease.  Even if you never plan to get up on a stage or if you don’t have a partner to show this to, the act of creating a striptease and performing it for yourself can be very liberating and goes a LONG way to uncovering the real you and helping you get your sexy back : )